For what it is worth there is no such thing as gay marriage or straight marriage. With marriage equality there is just marriage or not marrying. That’s why same sex marriage is a misnomer.
From Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mitch-kellaway/a-day-in-a-queer-life-in-the-us_b_3105107.html
Mitch Kellaway
04/18/2013
“Would you rather get a same-sex marriage or a straight one? Or what about a ceremony with no legal strings attached?” My partner Jocelyn and I silently pondered my question as we strolled hand-in-hand down the street. Despite our penchant for a good game of 20 Questions, my stumper wasn’t just a way to pass the time. This was a moment of foreshadowing for our not-too-distant future.
Today, I am a queer transgender man planning my wedding to a queer cisgender woman.
Back on that spring afternoon, we were merely discussing a happy hypothetical. We were still months away from surprising each other with rings, having both secretly planned proposals in the same special spot.
To be frank, I wasn’t sure my question even had a legal leg to stand on. I still don’t know if a transgender person with, say, an “F” on their birth certificate and an “M” on their driver’s license can choose which one defines their marriage. Nevertheless, with weddings looming so large in cultural conversations about queerness, it at least seemed pertinent to wonder. In fact, I quite liked the thought that I could make a political statement if I took the road less travelled.
To take a step back, two years earlier we had just met. I was immediately drawn to Jocelyn by her style, her humor and her cute nose — and by a shared belief that the medical-legal complex should have no part in defining our private identities. We flirted by trading impassioned speeches against the system. We texted daily, excited to learn about each other’s mundane happenings as only a new couple can be. Along the way we fell in love.
It is no coincidence that two people assigned “female” at birth share such a deep understanding of each other’s hearts. At the same time, we delight in how far our gendered destinations have diverged. Nowadays, I cheer her ongoing reclamation of all things fabulous and femme. In turn, we celebrate my waxing and waning masculinities.
Jocelyn and I have become used to new beginnings. While gender change is among them, it hardly overshadows other early-adult milestones. I changed jobs. She graduated from college. I began writing. We picked a grownup apartment together. We put time into family get-togethers and weekend trips.
Continue reading at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mitch-kellaway/a-day-in-a-queer-life-in-the-us_b_3105107.html
