From Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-kaufman-md/the-dark-side-of-being-transgender-having-little-choice_b_3692430.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices
Danielle Kaufman, M.D.
08/02/2013
People outside the trans experience have a truly hard time understanding the magnitude of the task of changing gender expression. No one would ever do this unless they were forced to by their own psychology. I did choose to follow a number of specific steps to change my gender expression; it’s just that I was so compelled by inner need that I would say it’s not really a choice.
This is so hard that no one would do this if they had any other option. My only other option was to die. And yes, I was prepared to die. I had carefully detailed plans and all the necessary supplies. All I needed were 10 minutes before I went to bed and I wouldn’t wake up the next day. I saw it less as suicide and more like euthanasia: I had a medical condition that bordered on unbearable at times.
I don’t feel that I need that option anymore; for the most part, my life as a trans woman seems to be working. But I truly cannot go back to living as a man. This is a choice like breathing is a choice. I can choose to not breathe, but not for long. I have to do this to stay alive. Truly I do.
Gender is largely a societal construct. All this “feminine” stuff I’m practicing how to do is learned, a product of our culture. If I want to look feminine, I have to adopt these culturally derived standards of dress, behavior, and speech. I’ve come to realize that the real differences between men and women probably aren’t that great. After all, I had a female mind my whole life, and yet somehow I was able to successfully deny that for 53 years. Unfortunately, the cultural differences between genders are enormous.
Women have suffered greatly at the hands of men; there are many places where it’s still evident. The whole time I lived as a male, I really believed that women were the superior sex (their contribution to making children, for example, is vastly greater). I actually had to learn to accept that I really am good enough to be a woman. At first I didn’t believe it.
Continue reading at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-kaufman-md/the-dark-side-of-being-transgender-having-little-choice_b_3692430.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices
